Market Research Biz News: 7 things you shouldn’t do on your first date

When you have your phone during your first date, others will think you are looking for a better plan or will jump to leave with the first sound of the text. (Dreamstime / TNS)

Dreamstime / Dreamstime / TNS

We all have a bad first date. Are there any common themes when thinking about them? Here are seven things you shouldn’t do on your first date. Avoiding these things, whether you have chemistry or not, will make dating a better experience for everyone.

1. Talk about your ex / past relationship

If you’re talking about your ex in a positive way, you don’t seem to exceed that person. And if you’re talking negatively about your ex, you don’t seem to exceed that person — and maybe some bitter about it.

A few years ago, I dated someone I matched on Tinder. He seemed great enough until he mentioned his ex-wife. I didn’t ask anything about that relationship because it’s not really my business, and I encourage people to keep things light on their first date. He started telling me without any prompts, in addition to her suffering from a mental illness, a long list of negative things about her and how she miserable him. I did. Immediately some thoughts came to my mind.

— If he doesn’t talk much about her, what will he say about me someday?

— He shares very personal information about others with strangers.

I was certainly happy that he was comfortable enough to share this information with me, but it was completely inappropriate in that setting (at the bar, keep in mind you). He also didn’t pick up my clues to change the direction of the conversation. He and I didn’t have enough in common to guarantee another date anyway, but the fact that he spent most of the date bashing his ex traded for me Was sealed.

Some people find it fun to share the story of sobbing. That’s not the case — at least on the first date, you just need to check if you have a relationship with someone.

2. Delayed without notice, or overly late with notice

You are late Things happen. If possible, please be kind to notify us of the date in sufficient time.

I once had a date that started at 3 pm, arrived at 2:59, but didn’t see him. So I sent a text message asking if he was inside. He replied at 3:04 that he was on the way. He arrived at 3:08 without an apology. I wouldn’t have noticed that he was late. But the fact that he didn’t tell me in advance, and that he didn’t apologize, was enough to irritate me. Remember that your time is worth less than anyone else.

3. Unplug or send text messages to others

It’s rude, straightforward, and simple. When you have your phone, others think you are looking for a better plan or will jump to leave with the first sound of the text. Try cleaning up your smartphone during the date period. (And “away” doesn’t mean turning the screen down, it means you can’t see it.) Of course, the exception is if you’re expecting a phone call or text message. Then tell the date in advance.

4. Too much talk about one topic (especially work-or yourself)

Talking about work all the time feels like an interview. If you talk about yourself, you sound like you are self-absorbing. Make sure the conversation is give and take and it flows.

5. Be rude to the server or anyone

Treat people kindly, no matter who they are.

6. The tip doesn’t work

7. If you are not interested, toggle the “off” switch

Sometimes you step into a date and know that it doesn’t match within the first 5 minutes. that’s OK. It happens. But instead of running your grocery list in your head during the date, try to stay and engage. Both of you have made time to be there, so it’s best to make the most of it, learn something, and have some fun with some ability.

Now that you know what you shouldn’t do, let’s start dating. And don’t forget to smile!

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